We have had a few huge weeks lately, has it ever really not been busy? Christmas & this time of the year really does take it out of you doesn't it?
Now we endure the last few weeks of keeping the kids entertained before shoving...er sending them lovingly back to school.
I was in the shower the other night running through the next few weeks of events in my head – isn’t the shower the best thinking place? Either there or 2 oclock in the dead of night when you should be sleeping…..
And I got that sinking feeling that I had forgotten someone’s birthday? Whose birthday is it? Shit. Was it a family member? A friend or a friend’s kid? Have I got all the girls uniforms sorted? Book lists done? When is the car rego due? Am I onto of everything?
Man, I used to have my shit in a pile, i was the dependable one; to always send cards, gifts & just little notes in the mail to brighten up a friends day.
Now it seems I am usually stealing a card from work & a present off the shelf in the shop to throw in an express post bag. Man, I am a shit friend. I am a crap daughter & daughter in law, I should be making more of an effort…. And so on & so forth my thoughts snow balled leaving me in a mess of guilt.
I mean seriously, I barely have enough time to wash my face or shave my arm pits these days let alone remember birthdays. Sometimes I even forget to reply to texts, or when I do its 11pm at night....
And don’t get me started on the mummy guilt.
I absolutely LOVE coming into the shop everyday & feel so proud that I have a job that I feel like that about – the early starts & the late nights don’t bother me it really is a labor of love. Even laying on the couch at night checking our social media & emails doesn’t seem that much of a chore – until you realise you haven’t spoken to your child in 30 minutes & have just replied “uh huh” when they have spoken to you. I get so mad with myself for doing this.
And when I catch myself in this moment I promise myself to find a better work/home/family/me time balance. But how does one conquer this?
Mothers have a hard-enough time as it is managing to find a smidgen of a break to look after oneself, then you throw in running a business & it is a whole new ball game. Once you close your business for the day, you enter into your other job: picking kids up, trying to help with homework (how hard is year 3 maths!!!), dinner, washing, folding, cleaning, bath time, washing up THEN you get to doing the paperwork & admin side of your business as your family sleeps. The next day sees you waking up before the sun, do some more work before commencing Mum again…. And around & around we go. All this hard work is hopefully going to come back 3-fold, not just in the business, but with our kids.
Instead of feeling guilty I choose to look at it as Emma & I setting our kids up for life. They see that good things come with lots of hard work & nothing in this world comes for free. I hope we am teaching them work ethic, (plus how to card up earrings, stamp bags & other jobs!) and also to not take life too seriously all the time.
Sometimes when the dog shits on the floor, your kids upend a whole tin of milo & your hair is stuck in the hairbrush all you can do is laugh. Because in the end we are all doing our best.
Hope you are kind to yourself today.
K x
