5,000 Great One Liners

 Laugh-out-loud funny, 5,000 Great One-Liners has all the quips, zingers, puns and wisecracks you’ll ever need – and a whole lot more. My mate told me that I just don’t understand irony. Which was ironic because we were at a bus stop at the time.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. An onion just told me a joke. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
A priest, a rabbi and a blind man walk into a bar and the bartender says, ‘What is this, some kind of joke?’
I got chatting to a lumberjack in a pub. He seemed like a decent feller.

A neutron walks into a bar and says to the barman, ‘How much for a pint?’ To which the barman replies, ‘For you, no charge.’

I’ll never forget what my granddad said to me just before he kicked the bucket. He said, ‘Grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?’