{"product_id":"heres-your-fucking-gift-bag","title":"Here's Your Fucking Gift Bag","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWrapped with love. And zero patience. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTired of ribbons, bows, and fake enthusiasm? Same. That’s why this brutally honest gift bag exists—to cut through the nonsense and get straight to the point. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhether it’s a birthday, anniversary, or just some random event you got roped into, this bag says exactly what you’re thinking: “Here’s your gift. Be grateful, you glorious pain in the ass.” \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e✅ Strong enough to hold regrets, wine, or oddly-shaped nonsense \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e✅ Saves time on heartfelt cards and emotional labor \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e✅ Swearing included free of charge \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNo fluff, no frills—just pure, foul-mouthed festivity. Because sometimes, the best way to say “I care” is with sarcasm and a load of attitude. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFeatures Quality Art \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCard Construction \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWoven silver cord handles \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSturdy card base \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMade from recycled and sustainably sourced materials \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAvailable in two sizes: \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSmall - Fits a number of small items such as a candle, mug, jewelry etc H 23 cm, W 18 cm, D 10 cm \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMedium - Fits a shoebox\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Disrupted Industries","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":42965532115027,"sku":"30391","price":10.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":42965532147795,"sku":"30392","price":12.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0740\/6349\/files\/heres-your-fucking-gift-bag-eggplant-and-poppy-disrupted-1.jpg?v=1755654333","url":"https:\/\/www.eggplantandpoppy.com.au\/products\/heres-your-fucking-gift-bag","provider":"Eggplant \u0026 Poppy ~ Unique + Quirky Gifts","version":"1.0","type":"link"}